


Shattered Soul

by kijikun



Series: Shattered and Glued [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fledgling - Freeform, Kid Fic, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-01-09
Updated: 2011-01-10
Packaged: 2017-10-14 14:57:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/150492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kijikun/pseuds/kijikun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The search for Sam's soul starts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fledgling fic, spoilers up through 6x09, brief depiction of hell. Implied pre Castiel/Dean, implied Crowley/Anna.
> 
> Beta by the lovely pandionpandeus and krystalicekitsu.

"Such a handy thing, isn't it?" something that was once a female voice croons in his ear. "Being able to see through your body's eyes?"

He makes a sound against his will. It forces out between his teeth because this is worse than all the knives and brands.

His hair is jerked sharply, then petted. "Look how easily you do things now. Perfect hunter now, aren't you?" A wet tongue flicks against his ear.

"Bitch," he hisses out.

The knife runs cross his lips. "Mind your language, Sammy. Or I'll cut out your tongue again. Or maybe I'll bite it off this time."

"Are you still upset about that little monster you made with the angel? Don't worry, I'm sure your body will have another chance to destroy it. Angels do have such trouble staying away from their mates."

Sam almost begs for the knife again.

***

Balthazar eyes the demon across the table from him. They've met in neutral territory as always. A coffee shop this time.

"So," Crowley says, steepling his fingers. "You wanted to see me, Bal?"

"No, but sometimes I must," Balthazar says dispassionately.

Crowley smiles and leans back. "Ah, ever the charming one." He takes a sip of his coffee. "Let me guess. You have a soul you'd like to unload?"

Balthazar traces the rim of his cup. He's a weakness for chai tea. "Actually, I'm interested in finding a particular soul. Thought maybe you'd come across it."

Crowley looks curious as he leans forward. "Which soul might that be? I come across a great many souls these days."

"Samuel Winchester's soul," Balthazar says as if he's asking about the weather.

Crowley almost chokes on his coffee. "Why would you care if I had?"

"Curiosity, mostly. Seems odd that someone would go through all the trouble of nicking him from the Cage and leave that bit behind."

"It is a curious thing. I assume whoever did the raising thought the boy was more useful without it." Crowley smiles. "Did Castiel send you?"

Balthazar adores that he's able to shake his head and truly mean it. The truth confounds Crowley the most. "I'm no errand boy for my little brother," Balthazar tells him. He takes a sip of his tea. "I am, of course, willing to help you if you help me."

Crowley raises an eyebrow. "And how would you help me, Bal?" There's wariness and curiosity there.

"Anna."

***

Gabriel lays on his stomach, watching Jacob play peekaboo using his wings. He chuckles every time the little head pops up from his father's wings. "I see you, Jacob," Gabriel says, brushing his wing gently and knocking over the toddler.

Jacob giggles, falling back into the soft nest. "Da!"

"I'm sorry, darling, did I cheat?" Gabriel asks. He tugs the giggling fledgling to his chest and rolls onto his back.

Jacob wings flutter and he bounces once. "Up!" he declares.

"No flying today," Gabriel tells him.

The only place Gabriel wants to fly to is Sam's side. He can't do that though and it's been eating at him.

He fell into dreaming the night before, curled around Jacob. Dreamt of Sam. Of Sam holding Gabriel's blade.

Of Jacob's blood painting it.

Jacob's chubby hand pats Gabriel's face. "Da?"

Gabriel blinks and focuses on the worried little face of his fledgling. "Sorry," he whispers, smoothing down Jacob's wings. "Daddy's not paying very good attention, am I?

Jacob makes a little bird-like croon and nestles down onto Gabriel's chest. He curls a wing up over Jacob's body. He remembers when Castiel was this small.

He was a quiet little thing. Always staring wide eyed at Gabriel. So much like Zazagel. Observant, taking in everything around him and learning from it.

Balthazar was too much like Gabriel, but he can remember the angel small with downy wings fluttering behind him as he peered down at his new brother. Zaz had laughed softly at Balthazar's eagerness to hold Castiel. He'd wing their eldest up to see Michael so Gabriel and the new fledgling could rest.

Gabriel remembers his children as innocent.

He lifts his head and places a kiss on Jacob's forehead.

There's the sound of a high crystalline chime and Jacob fusses, rubbing his eyes.

Gabriel sighs. That girl is worse than her mother about knocking and this is what he gets for letting her have access to the nest. But he'd needed someone he could trust.

"Dad?"

"Helel," he sighs. "What did I say about coming unannounced?"

The young nephilim-demi god comes into view, peering over the edge of the nest. She looks hopeful. Gabriel sighs.

"Oh all right, just don't wake your brother."

Hel smiles and climbs into the nest to snuggle at his side. She reaches out and traces protection over his head.

She's quiiet, which is unusual. She's like him and Raven. Never stops talking. "What have you done, bat?"

Helel traces a finger around Jacob's ear. "I might have pulled something up from the pit," she says so very softly.

Everything in Gabriel goes still. He'd told her not to risk it. Jacob might be safe from Castiel's hand but Helel iisn't. But if she had -- "You found Sam's soul."

She shakes her head and presses her face against his shoulder.

He turns his head and kisses the crown of hers. "Helel. What have you done?" He refuses to think of what she might have brought up searching.

"His name is Adam," Helel tells him. Her wings come out and she curls them against him as she did when she was young. "I couldn't leave him."

 _Oh._ "You raised Adam Milligan."

"His soul was beautiful," she whispers.

Gabriel closes his eyes and knows he has to keep this from his sons.

***

 _Sam's fingers trail through his sweaty hair. "You gonna stay tonight?"_

 _Gabriel licks along Sam's jaw. "Love to, kiddo, but got a world to save and all."_

 _"And what are me and Dean doing?" Sam snorts._

 _"Being very good distractions," Gabriel chuckles. "You boys don't know the meaning of the word subtle."_

 _Sam snorts again. "The thing with the cops was Castiel's fault," he points out. He flings an arm across Gabriel's middle._

 _Gabriel hums into Sam's skin and strokes his mark on Sam's hip. "It was Dean's fault for corrupting my innocent baby brother."_

 _"I don't think you can read the Song of Songs and be innocent," Sam teases. "And why are we talking about our brothers while in bed?"_

 _"You started it," Gabriel points out._

 _Sam laughs and tugs Gabriel closer. "Seriously, stay."_

 _Gabriel closes his eyes because he wants to. He wants to stay the night with his mate. "You gonna tell Dean about us?"_

 _Sam's quiet and it tells Gabriel all he needs to know. He kisses Sam quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow, handsome."_

 _And he does. But there is blood and death. There's Kali and Lucifer._

 _Gabriel never has the chance to say goodbye._

Jacob squirms in his sleep and Gabriel strokes his wings to calm him. Helel had gone hours ago, back to Adam. Castiel and Balthazar don't know the location of the nest -- and he refuses to feel guilt about that -- so Gabriel is left with his thoughts.

And memories.

He's never getting that Sam from his memories back. That Sam never went to hell. And Sam's soul is still there.

Gabriel just wants a Sam that will love Jacob.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel confronts Sam. Dean and Cas grow closer and Dean meets the newest Winchester.

"I pray for Castiel to get his feathery ass--"

"Dean," Cas sighs. "We've talked about this."

Dean opens his eyes and grins up at Cas. "Yet you keep coming when I call."

Cas' head tilts to the side. "I will always come when you call for me, Dean."

Dean doesn't get a chance to process that fully before Sam interrupts. He's not sure if he's grateful or not.

"Far be it from me to interrupt your bonding session, but we do have things to deal with," Sam points out. He doesn't roll his eyes or sigh or make a bitch face, just turns back to the manger on the yellowing formica table. "So we can get back to hunting."

A damn manger.

Cas raises an eyebrow, approaching the table. "This is not one of the weapons." He sounds torn between shock and shame.

"We sort of figured that one for ourselves, Cas," Dean tells him.

"It was being used in a church nativity play," Sam fills in. "Turned the baby doll into a real baby."

"It is a power of the blessed manger," Cas says. "This should not be here on earth." He skims his fingers just above the wood.

Dean watches Cas, taking in the slumped, tired look of his shoulders. "Kinda figured that one too. Figured we'd better get out of there before the wrong person got their hands on it."

"Dean, it isn't as if this thing can hurt anyone," Sam points out. "We shouldn't be wasting our time."

"Oh yeah, great. And when someone's using it to mass produce babies to sell to people desperate to have children?" Dean snaps. It kills him. Something is so damn broken in Sammy.

Sam would have been horrified by this.

Sam shrugs. "So?"

"Dean is correct, Sam, this artifact is not safe in human hands," Cas says firmly.

Dean pushes his fingers through his hair. "So what do we do with it? Burn it?"

That gets him pinned with a glare. "No. I have already called assistance."

There's the sound of wings and the smell of ozone then --

"Cas, this better be a good reason, I just got him to sleep - " Gabriel trails off. The archangel blinks. "Okay, the manger on earth is a good reason."

"You were dead," is the first thing that comes out of his mouth. Because dude, the guy was dead. He glares at Cas. "He was dead!"

Sam doesn't look surprised at all, which fucking figures. "Hello, Gabriel."

Gabriel ignores Sam in a away that almost looks pained. "I got better."

Cas gives Dean a regretful look. "I only learned of this recently. He has had things that have kept him occupied."

It's then that Dean notices that Gabriel is holding something. Someone. "What is --"

Gabriel smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Dean, meet your nephew."

Dean's brain wants to go in seven different direction at once, then Sam makes the direction easy.

"You should have let me kill it," Sam says coldly. "It would have been kinder."

It feels like all the air as been sucked out of the room, out of Dean's lungs. Because Sam wouldn't -- Sam would never -- "Sammy?" Dean wonders if his voice sounds as raw as it feels.

He can't even look at his brother and stares instead at the toddler in Gabriel's arms. The toddler with Sam's eyes.

"It's a liability, Dean," Sam says as if it should be obvious. Gabriel's face twits into a snarl and he holds the child even closer. "Aren't things like this not allowed, Cas?"

Dean looks towards Cas, who is suddenly closer than he had been. Like he wants to be as far from Sam as possible. "I will not harm Gabriel's nestling nor would I order his destruction," Cas says vehemently.

"You were pretty quick to want to kill Jesse and torture that boy," Sam points out.

Cas goes still. They kind of stillness Dean recognizes from when they've come to blows or close to it. "I took no pleasure in either of those things. If there had been a way to find the information without harming the child I would have done so," Cas hisses. "And I believe you protested the idea of killing Jesse. Why would your own child be different?"

Sam looks away. "I don't know," he says softly.

"Castiel," Gabriel says, breaking the silence that falls after Sam's words. "Would you and Dean please take Jacob outside while I speak to Sam?"

"Of course, brother," Cas says quickly.

There's something bittersweet in Gabriel's smile that Dean files away to think about later. Surprisingly, it's him that Gabriel hands Jacob to. The toddler stares up at him with wide eyes, then breaks into a smile and pats his face. He babbles something happily.

"You've met his approval, Uncle Dean," Gabriel almost sounds happy.

Dean glances back towards Sam who's staring at the faded wallpaper of one of the walls. "C'mon Cas, let's introduce the Impala to Jacob."  
Cas, as he often seems to do, follows Dean without question.

"I didn't realize he'd have Jacob with him," Cas says as they walk to the car. Jacob is babbling at Dean and patting his face.

Dean sighs and sags against the Impala. "That's honestly not what's upsetting me right now, Cas. The whole 'you have a nephew' things is ranking a bit higher." Jacob pats the hood of the Impala and make a vague noise like a car. Dean smiles despite himself. Jacob reminds him of Sam when he was little. "And you know what's wrong with Sam."

Cas bows his head. "It was Gabriel's right to decide for you to know or not," he says carefully. Jacob pats the roof of the Impala again and babbles. The toddler frowns, then babbles at Cas. "No, Jacob, the Impala does not have wings."

"Wait, you can understand him?" Dean asks in surprise. Jacob turns in his arms and almost falls in his eagerness to get over to Cas.

Cas nods, catching the child easily. "Somewhat, yes. He can speak of a few words of our tongue. Gabriel most likely uses that tongue more with him than English."

"That sounds nothing like Enochian," Dean points out, watching Jacob's fluffy little wings flap as he pulls on Cas' tie.

Cas makes a sound suspiciously like a snort. "Because Angelic is not Enochian. As I have said before, humans have many misconceptions about my kind."

Dean laughs tiredly, watching Cas let a toddler angel pull at his clothes and half climb over his shoulder. "Not like you come with an instruction manual. Hey, maybe you should start passing out pamphlets."

"When the civil war has ended I'll look into that," Cas says, his lips twitching just slightly. "No Jacob, I will not bring my wings out for you to play with."

Jacob whines in protest and Dean can't help but laugh. Cas shoots him a dirty look.

"Hey don't look at me. Maybe I want to play with your wings too," Dean teases him. He remembers Cas' wings. Dark shadows. The brush of feathers on his skin. And while he's mostly teasing, he's thought of touching Cas' wings before.

Cas flushes. Dean laughs. And Jacob chews on Cas' tie.

***

"Gabriel, we're in the middle of something. Either help or leave," Sam says.

Gabriel stalks forward. He ran last time, out of fear for Jacob and his own cowardice. "The manger isn't going anywhere and neither are you. Me and you, Sammy, we're going to talk."

Sam's expression doesn't change. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Bullshit." Gabriel keeps moving forward but Sam doesn't move. His grace keeps reaching for Sam, reaching for his soul but it's just swirling emptiness. "Is my mark still there?"

There's a pause, then Sam nods. "It's the only scar I came back with."

At least there's that. It means if they can find Sam's soul he can try and fix this. "Felt anything odd since coming back?"

"No," Sam says and it's probably an honest answer.

And it makes Gabriel want to scream. "You know you should feel me, don't you? I know you remember that, Sam."

Sam turns around and sits on one of the beds. "I do remember, Gabriel but I don't. I don't _feel_."

It's more of an admission than Gabriel expected. "Do you really want to kill Jacob?"

"I don't know. It's the strategic thing to do. It's the best option. I can see things clearly now, Gabriel. I'm a better hunter than I ever was before," Sam explains or at least tries to.

Gabriel slumps against the wall. "You don't have a soul."

Sam stares at him.

"Whatever brought you back, Sam, they didn't bring all of you back," Gabriel tells him. "But we're going to fix it. I'm going to fix this."

Sam tilts his head to the side. "And if I don't want this fixed?"

Gabriel snarls. "You don't get a choice."

"I never do," Sam comments.

And Gabriel slams out of the room before he does or says something he'll regret. Dean and Cas stare at him. Even Jacob is silent and wide eyed.

"I take it the 'talk' did not go well?" Cas asks. Fine time for his son to learn sarcasm.

Gabriel ignores the question though. "The manger is tricky. If it's taken back to Heaven too soon any infant created by it will return to what it was originally. I'm going to assume dolls in this case. How many babies we talking about?"

Dean rolls his eyes and Gabriel really doesn't give a shit what the eldest Winchester thinks of him avoiding questions. "Four that we know of. All in the last two weeks."

"Okay, then, the manger needs to stay on Earth for at least six months then," Gabriel tells them. "Find somewhere safe for it until then."

Cas nods in agreement. "Balthazar might be a wise choice."

"Dude, no. The asshole would sell it," Dean protests. Any other time Dean's jealousy might be amusing. Now it just gives Gabriel a headache.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Or Becky," Gabriel suggest.

"Becky?" Dean repeats.

"Yes, Becky. Any other day I'd love to explain it to you but I have a headache, Jacob needs a bottle and a nap, and Cas?" Gabriel pauses as his son looks at him. "You need to tell Dean the truth about Sam."

He steps forward to take Jacob from Dean, but the hunter sets his jaw stubbornly and holds Jacob closer. "I want to see him again," Dean demands. "Whatever is going on with Sam, Jacob's still my family too, and I want to know him."

Gabriel nods. "I'm not going to keep Jacob from you anymore than I would Cas."

Dean glances at Cas who nods and then finally hands Jacob over.

Jacob waves at Dean. "Bye!" he chirps. "De, bye."

Gabriel unfurls his wings and takes them home to the nest.


End file.
